That Was my "TRUTH"....
For years, I wore chains I couldn't break, bound by habits and addictions that stole my peace and k
For many many years, I’ve worn chains I couldn't break, I was bound by habits and addictions that stole my peace and kept me hiding. I'm beginning to see the freedom I’ve always believed was possible, I’ve always known was true. It isn’t found in my own strength, I have no natural strength of my own and will power alone couldn’t cut it—it’s found in Christ.
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36).
I may still have battles ahead, but I no longer have to face them as a prisoner. God's grace is stronger than my failures, and His mercy has renewed the courage to begin again.
I couldn’t lay down the shame, I wouldn’t surrender the struggle, I trust the One who has never let me go. I knew His way was, is and forever will be the only way. But I still was captivated by my addiction. I knew I couldn’t do it alone, I’ve known for forever. Addiction was a way of life though. I stopped confessing it, I stopped asking for it to be taken away. I knew I was going to the grave in secret sin. I knew it. I accepted that reality. I’m living proof of that reality.
That was my “TRUTH”.
My next fix was what kept me going and also eating away my soul simultaneously. As much as I wanted to stop I needed to continue. 40+ years of struggle, giving in, falling in, tiptoeing around other sexual sins, “you know, just to see…” Look but not touch. Thank God He protected me from those…
I have no more power willpower or anything more than I had yesterday. But something has changed. A deep something. A deep something that has awakened within my soul. I’m different on the inside. Jesus did what He does, He changed my insides. I almost don’t even want to say it. I did not believe it was possible. I’ve seen miracles, everyday miracles, even ones that have touched my life in profound ways before. But this miracle….It’s unexplainable….It’s so radicle it’s undefinable….
All I can do is wake up and sing-cry-it-out. I’m changed.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). My chains don't define me anymore; Christ does.
I don’t know what the future holds. It’s open and unwritten. I can’t help but smile and say, “Let’s Go!” Where He leads, I will follow. Where He prompts I will obey. Not question, just obey. Lead me Spirit, lead me. There are uncharted waters ahead. My mind in clear. The storm clouds have broken and the SON is shining through.
I don’t know DUDE??? I’m happy, I’m Free and I just feel like picking up the SWORD of God and taking the fight to the enemy…I’m pumped.
40 years of wandering in the desert of addiction and bondage. My stupor is wearing off. I was going to end this but I was talking to my best friend and brother; Dana Parker, for almost 5 hours this Sunday afternoon.
Suddenly God epiphanizied me.
I was dumbstruck with the thought that I accepted Christ Jesus into my heart at or around 5 years old, of course hallelujah right!! But that same timeframe is when I can draw my addiction to. My addiction and my salvation have been side by side from my very beginning. I’ve known it but I’ve never had an aha moment about that until now. It’s never been so clear to me that God…..GOD singled me out for some awesome purpose…something I have no way of dreaming up…
some God-only-knows thing….
Before the beginning of time……He said something like, “Ya know what, I’m gonna make us a Nathan….He’s gonna like to be called Nate, never Nathaniel…Haha, that’s good….Satan was in here the other day and saw this Nathan I was making and said, “God, I bet your bottom dollar that I can get that Nathan right there in my pocket like a Dr. Suess wocket. I bet you the gates of Hell I can get him to curse your socks off..” And God said, “You can try but He’s mine.” I’ll let you try though, ain’t no way that son of mine will follow you….
You know that moment when the Hulk finally got a hold of Loki in the Avengers movie…it was awesome but not as awesome as when God does it to Satan. God could do it anytime…what’s He waiting for? Just one more lost soul to wake up, just one more to come home. Only God knows when He planned to do it. He won’t be surprised. He already planned it, way before creation began, He planned to redeem it. God knew Satan would rebel. He knew Satan would entice and deceive, rob, kill, steal and destroy. He knew. Yet He created. His image bearers would be hated, persecuted, in some cases martyred. Yet He created. He planned. And finally; when the time was just right, He Master-stroked Jesus, His one and only Son into physical being. Satan didn’t know this curve-ball, he thought the whole Earth was his dominion, a God-less wasteland. But no, it’s God’s footstool. And when the time is just right; not too soon and not too late, just at the very moment of perfection.
God will……FOOT………FACE…….Satan like a bug.
There won’t be an epic battle with us chewing our fingernails wondering who’s going to win. In an instant ALL will be made new. I Can Only Imagine….. (Mercy Me)
Lord: I’ve got Heaven on My Mind (Toby Mac)…may there be Joy in the Morning (Tauren Wells)…on your Mountain of God (3rd Day)….Because He Lives (Gaither Vocal band)…He is Worthy of it All (CeCe Winans). Amen.
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